Splitting the difference seems fair, right? I want to sell for 100, you want to buy for 50, and we settle at 75. Everyone leaves happy. Wrong.
Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, argues that "the middle ground" is often a lazy deal that nobody really liked. It's like wearing a brown shoe and a black shoe because you couldn't decide which pair to wear.
Tactical empathy
The key is not to give in, but to understand. Voss introduces “Tactical Empathy.” It is not about being nice; it is about understanding the other person’s pain and motivation so well that they feel safe giving you what you want.
The calibrated question
One of the most powerful tools is the calibrated question: "How can I do that?"
When someone makes an impossible demand, instead of saying "No," you ask, "How can I do that with this budget?" This forces the other side to solve the problem with you, often leading them to withdraw the requirement or improve the offer.